About This Musical
Number of Speaking Roles: 46 | Runtime: 80 minutes
What do you get when you send a squad of Kiwi legends back through time to stop our national identity from being forgotten? A West End debut that’s absolutely bursting at the cultural seams!
This action-packed show features an all-star task force: Burt ‘McRider’ Munro, Taika ‘Double O Zero’ Waititi, Jacinda ‘The Cindablock’ Ardern, and ‘The Grizz.’ Their mission? To thwart Gollum as he attempts to steal the very treasures that define us. Our heroes embark on a hilarious, time-bending mission to reclaim our precious history.
From the “firsts” that put us on the map to the fierce spirit that keeps us uniquely Kiwi, this show celebrates our past, our people, and the iconic moments where New Zealand showed the world how it’s done.
This production can be performed with a variety of songs and dances throughout. A list of suggested songs will be provided on request.
Scenes & Songs & Script
Scene One
Across the fading landscapes of New Zealand, a thick, unnatural mist begins to roll in, signaling that the nation's history is under threat. In the heart of a Middle-earth town or city in New Zealand, a worried Sir Peter Jackson confers with Gandalf, Frodo, and Sam, sensing that dark forces are at work to erase the Kiwi identity. Gollum emerges from the shadows, hissing a wicked plan: he intends to slip through time and steal the precious icons and milestones that shaped New Zealand’s heritage. To save the future, Peter Jackson enacts a daring counter-plot, recruiting four influential Kiwi "spies" to pursue the creature through the ages. This team must chase Gollum through history to protect the legendary moments that make New Zealand unique.
Scene Two
1893: Kate Sheppard
In this chaotic reimagining of history, the villainous Gollum attempts to steal the glue and the massive 270-meter scroll of signatures to prevent the pages from being joined together. By sabotaging the assembly of the 1893 Women’s Suffrage Petition, he hopes to silence the voices of thousands and ensure New Zealand women never gain the right to vote. Through this encounter, we see Kate Sheppard depicted as a fearless and visionary leader who recognizes that New Zealand is on the cusp of becoming a global pioneer. She is portrayed not just as a tireless organizer, but as the foundation for future generations, whose "trailblazing" grit eventually allows women like Jacinda to lead the nation as Prime Minister. Ultimately, the scene highlights Sheppard's legacy as a defender of "mana" and equality, proving that her determination created a "highway" for all women in New Zealand's future.
Scene Three
1917: Ernest Rutherford
In this high-stakes historical detour, the wretched Gollum snatches a glowing golden representation of the Atom directly from the hands of the legendary physicist. He intends to harness its "spicy electricity" to become the most powerful creature in history, heedless of the catastrophic nuclear consequences if the discovery were to be mishandled or destroyed. Through this encounter, we learn that Ernest Rutherford, the "man from Brightwater," is a visionary trailblazer who transformed New Zealand’s global reputation by "splitting the unsplittable." Described as the "Grandfather of all inventions," Rutherford’s brilliance and pride in his work highlight a pivotal moment where a New Zealander fundamentally changed the scientific understanding of the universe's foundations.
Scene Four
1926; Apiranga Ngata
In this powerful scene, the wretched Gollum attempts to steal Sir Āpirana Ngata’s sacred ledger of Nga Moteatea, intending to erase the traditional songs and stories of the iwi. By trying to silence these ancestral voices, Gollum seeks to plunge the people into a "darkness" where their history and identity are forgotten. Through this encounter, we learn that Sir Āpirana Ngata was the visionary architect of the Māori Renaissance, a "multi-tasker" who balanced Pākehā law with the preservation of tōtara carvings and traditional arts. He is portrayed as a trailblazer who rebuilt the "soul of a people" by ensuring they remained connected to their roots while carving out a secure place in a modern world. Ultimately, his legacy is shown to be one of "mana" and "unity," proving that a nation’s strength lies in its ability to protect its taonga tuku iho (cultural treasures).
Scene Five
1953: Edmund Hillary
In this high-altitude confrontation, Gollum attempts to steal Sir Edmund Hillary’s Summicron camera and the Official Summit Flag, hoping to hide the physical proof of the historic ascent in a deep crevasse. By stripping the expedition of its verification, Gollum intends to ensure the world believes the mountain won, effectively erasing New Zealand’s crowning achievement from history. Through this encounter, we learn that Sir Edmund Hillary is a modest yet legendary trailblazer who views his world-changing feat as simply "a bit of a scramble" that needed doing. He is portrayed as a man of immense grit and national pride, embodying the determination that gave New Zealand a "seat at the top of the world" and paved the way for future explorers. Ultimately, the scene highlights Hillary's role as a humble icon who carried the aspirations of an entire nation to the highest point on Earth.
Scene Six
1975: Whina Cooper
In this powerful moment of historical activism, the wretched Gollum seeks to silence the "soul of the land" by stealing the sacred Kete containing the Memorial of Rights. By snatching the petition signed by tens of thousands, he attempts to render the epic 1,000-kilometer Te Matakite o Aotearoa meaningless, preventing the voices of the Māori people from finally being heard by Parliament. Through this confrontation, we learn that Dame Whina Cooper, the eighty-year-old "mother of the nation," is an indomitable trailblazer who knows "the road" intimately. She is portrayed as a leader of profound spirit and resilience, whose "wellbeing" mission is to protect the whenua so that future generations do not have to "beg for the soil that birthed them." Ultimately, the scene highlights Dame Whina’s role as the guardian of Māori land rights, proving that her unwavering persistence and the collective mana of the hikoi are an unstoppable force for historical justice.
Scene Seven
1985: Kiwi entertainers
In this nostalgic celebration of the 1980s "Golden Era" of New Zealand television, Gollum attempts to steal the master VHS tape containing every iconic entertainment moment and comedy segment. By snatching this "master tape," he hopes to erase the nation's collective memories of laughter and variety, replacing legendary characters with nothing but "boring news." Through this encounter, we are reintroduced to a cast of beloved trailblazers: the dry-witted Fred Dagg (John Clarke), the infectious humor of Billy T. James, and the glamour of Rachel Hunter, all within the high-energy chaos of a Telethon. These entertainers represent a unique period where New Zealanders unified through television to raise millions for charity while forging a distinct, self-deprecating national identity. Ultimately, the scene captures the heart of Kiwi variety, where even a villain like Gollum can be outsmarted by a classic game of "Money or the Bag" hosted by icons John Hawkesby and Hillary Timmins.
Scene Eight
1995: Peter Blake
In the sparkling waters of San Diego, the persistent Gollum attempts to snatch the Auld Mug and claim victory for himself, hoping to steal the physical proof of New Zealand's triumph to hide in his cave. By challenging the crew in his scruffy dinghy, he seeks to undermine the historic moment when "Black Magic" out-sailed the world's biggest spenders. Through this high-seas showdown, we learn that Sir Peter Blake was a visionary trailblazer who embodied calm focus and the power of "Kiwi Magic" through evidence-based design and collective effort. His iconic red socks are revealed to be more than just a lucky charm; they represent a symbol of national unity that pulled three and a half million people together for a shared vision. Ultimately, the scene celebrates Blake’s legacy as a leader who proved that a small nation could reach the top of the world through teamwork, securing New Zealand’s place as a global maritime powerhouse.
Scene Nine
As the high-tech studio fills with the glow of the "Time-Rip," the stage becomes a living mosaic of New Zealand’s greatest legends, from Kate Sheppard and Sir Edmund Hillary to the comedic brilliance of Billy T. James. Even Gollum finds redemption, setting aside his empty sack to realize that he, too, is a "precious" piece of the nation’s cultural DNA and its digital pioneering spirit. The production culminates in a powerful moment of unity, proving that the drive and mana of these trailblazers have shaped the very ground upon which the "Team of Five Million" now stands. In a grand, final chorus, the entire cast and fifty children celebrate the central message: that New Zealand's future is only as strong as the stories it chooses to protect and the heritage it honors together. This vibrant closing scene reinforces that every Kiwi is a part of an ongoing journey, where ordinary people continue to achieve extraordinary things by dreaming big and working as one.
Here's a sample of the script for your reading pleasure. If you need to see more get in touch.
Gallery of Characters
Note: While character images and song videos were created using generative AI tools to help bring these stories to life, all scripts, lyrics, and music are completely original. Every show, song, and resource has been written and created by New Zealand teacher and author Dan Minchin, who holds full copyright.
Order This Musical Now & Get...
The Script
A complete, stage-ready copy where you can print off as many as you like at no extra cost.
On request, this script can be editable so you can adapt it to your kura (free of charge)
The Music
A list of suggested songs and dances that can be performed throughout the show.
Behind the Scenes
Ready-to-go programme and ticket templates, plus all the letters you can edit and send home to parents.
The Game Plan: A full organisational guide that will save time. Templates for auditions, costume and prop suggestions, rehearsal schedule templates, and proven ideas to ensure your show is a hit.
Cost for Purchasing this Musical
$400.00 NZD